i know i’ve been neglecting you. i’ve felt as though i’ve pushed my thoughts – rather, most of my thoughts on the backburner and let the surface ones bubble up – the ones that are easy to express… and let them gain more attention. i realize that my new music blog on vox is partly to blame. the glitter of its apparent newness grabbed me… the ability to share audio, video and much more was so easy … fast… instant. my thoughts were served with a quickness that was far too alluring to ignore – posts done in less than half a minute. there was hardly any effort… i grew lazy, i grew apart from the heavy matter that sits patiently … waiting to be expressed.. to be written…
it wasn’t vox’s fault. vox is amazing. i allowed myself to fall in.. i decided to separate my music from you and . vox has hooked me musically.. but my real feelings remain with you. i guess i just wasn”t keen on digging deep into much of it these last few months. but i know i cannot run away from it. i do not want to hide… it’s not fair on you. or me… us.
now as i sit here looking at all my photographs.. and the memories i’ve let slip by me without documenting them properly with you [ like i did in the past ] .. i am overwhelmed. i really do not know where to start. i browse other blogs reading interesting stories about dueling mexican restaurants, the scary but very real fact of how a portion of our society harbors ignorance on global warming, new craft ideas and projects i so desperately want to begin, new books i want to read, new album releases, new this, new that… newness all over and once again captivating me.
it’s like the web has covered itself in bright glitter and has used some shiny object approach to gain my attention…
i am hooked.
i am not blaming anyone, my dear blog. i strayed. i wanted to see what was out there. but i am back.
i have to pull myself out of this haze. i cannot be lazy about my relationship with you. in may, it will be our one year. and i am excited about this. i want changes.. i’ve promised changes… i will make them.
i’d like to share more stories… create more ways to develop my writing… to meddle into different avenues of doing this properly… to keep sharing and using you as a healthy outlet.
i’ve forgotten how good it feels.
i’m glad we’ve had this time apart…
i’ve missed you a lot.
thanks for being patient.
your loving author,