Before undertaking a project, ponder what will be gained, lost and ultimately achieved. There is nothing too difficult for a man who, before he acts, Deliberates with chosen friends and reflects privately.
Tirukkural 47: 461-462
Give me something new to worry about, I thought to myself over and over again. I am growing pretty tired of being sad, frustrated, annoyed, angry [insert favorite negative emotion here] about the same things. Don’t you? There are so many things to experience in this life and it seems like a serious waste of time to keep worrying about the same things.
Not that my life is bad. In fact, its the complete opposite. I love my life. I love my family (both blood and chosen). I love my job. I love my passions. I love my sense of adventure. I love having the drive to make my dreams come true. I love who I am and yet I know I can do better. I am learning to do better. We can always do better. Right?
One of mybest friends recently pointed out something very significant after speaking to her about an x, y and z situation ( that continues to sadden and challenge me). She said to me, “Well, in all those situations the common denominator is you. Perhaps that’s something to think about and consider…” She’s right. If I can’t change my life, at least I should change my attitude and the manner I approach x, y, and z. Everything else seems to be going pretty good. I should focus on weak points and attack.
So, in my continued journey of self-upgrading… I am attacking my life with the same fervor as I attack projects at work. Hitting the ground running with life outside of my professional one. It seems ridiculous that I have not applied the same focused energy to the things that I am afraid of, to the weaker parts of who I am… those bad habits that fade but reappear, those dark corners, those demons, weaknesses, feelings of defeat, fear that keeps me from being great. I mean… REALLY great. I realize that I cannot always plan everything – but at least to focus on putting myself in a good place which will allow good and better habits to grow is a winning move to me. Life happens, I get busy… but I am putting myself in check.
So if I’m a little quiet lately – its only because I am hard at work at another upgrade. I refuse to be content with the current version of me. I love it, but I know there necessary upgrades to be made. I’m hitting walls and going in circles when I go down certain paths. I’m tired of feeling frustrated when this happens, I am changing the way I approach them… or better yet, I am looking for something new.
Stay tuned.
